OMG NO COCKROACH NOOOO

OMG I AM SO PARANOID RIGHT NOW. OMG NOOOOO.

SO I WEAR BLACK PANTS TO WORK AND I GET OFF WORK LATE AT NIGHT. LIKE WHEN IT’S DARK AND SHIT. SO I GUESS A GIGANTIC FUCKING COCKROACH DECIDED TO LAND ON MY LEG AND SHIT AND WAIT TIL I TOOK OFF MY FUCKING PANTS AND PUT THEM IN MY CLOSET TO WAIT TO LIKE FREAK ME THE FUCK OUT. SO I SEE IT AND I’M LIKE ‘WTF NOOOOOO’ SO I HIT IT WITH MY SHOE, AND IT DIDN’T KILL IT, SO I FOUND IT AND SOMEHOW HIT IT HARD ENOUGH TO CUT IT IN HALF BUT THANK GOD I FOUND THE HEAD AND I TOOK IT IN MY SWEATER AND THREW IT AWAY BUT I CAN’T FIND THE BODY AND OMG, EVERYTHING THAT TOUCHES ME I THINK IT’S THE BODY AND I CAN’T FIND IT AND I’M TOO FREAKED OUT TO LOOK ANYMORE AND OMG. 

SAVE ME.